Over the last few weeks I have been seeing an old friend in my dreams. It was someone who passed away a few years ago possibly from suicide but however the exit, this person is gone. I have felt such guilt because I've known this person to be in dark places before but have known this person to come out of it. In the past we have had conversations about life and I feel in some ways we uplifted each other. When I heard about this person passing all I could think of was damn, I meant to reach out when I noticed or felt ………. The problem with this is I never did and now I will never know.
I will never know if I could have had a conversation that could've helped this person out of this dark place, I'll never know if there was something I could've done that would've change the course of what happened. I feel like me seeing this person in my dreams is their way of reminding me to reach out to those I love or at some point called my play family or friends. The older I get the more I realize that people are leaving this world at record speeds and the only thing I can do is live my life as if tomorrow isn't promised (because it's not) and make certain that when I think about someone, I reach out to them. They may be doing fine, but maybe my contacting them is for my benefit. Maybe God has a message for me being sent by someone else. All my adult life I have lived by the "I reach out to those who reach out to me" code. But this experience has bothered me to my core and I now realize, that's not the code I want to live by. If I reach out and you are unresponsive, then fine I've done my part and will now wish you well and pray for you from a distance. But God has blessed each of us with gifts, mine is uplifting, motivating and shinning my inner light unto/into people in their darkness. I have been told my face draws people in, my voice is soothing, I have an inner glow, a kind heart..what other profession could I enter if not that in the helping industry. If I can't be of help to those I've grown up with or into adulthood with.. what am I doing?
I hope this is the message, the person is trying to relay. This probably will come across weird to most and that's totally fine but since I was about 9 or 10 I would see people who've passed on in my dreams, not regularly but occasionally. If I'm sitting having a conversation and they are talking to me, that's me missing them and wanting to talk to them but if I see them not talking (usually smiling hello to me) and I feel their thoughts, it's that person trying to relay a message to me. The latter is what I've been experiencing over the last few weeks and I hope this is the message; reach out, don't think about it just do it, you never know the impact you can have on someone who may be on the edge and something as simple as a hello or a wave on social media may be the contact for them to live or the sign from God that their life has purpose they have been waiting for.
It takes 2 minutes to change a life and it starts with "Hello, how are you I was thinking about you and decided to reach out...…."
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