Friday morning somewhere around 12:38 am my daughter came in my room in tears. In tears because a young lady she attended school with committed suicide. A thought ran through my mind that night as I tossed and turned before finally drifting off. WHY? Why did this baby feel that she had no other recourse other than to end her life. I recall my daughter telling me last year this young lady was being bullied and that some students where so mean to her, although I'm almost positive there were other things going on in her young life, this did not help it. I woke up the next day to my baby puffy eyes and angry going to tell her sister who was soundly asleep when the information came through the "group chat". My baby wanted to tell her twin before she found it out from people who didn't care about this young lady the day before this happened, nor through a series of RIP with her picture attached to angel wings going up to heaven on social media. That day we all were quiet yet angry in the car. I was angry because no one helped this baby and if my daughter could see this child was in danger and had told adults before, surly the adults around her could see something and should've acted. Also I was angry because the parents of those who were said to have been bullies; I'm sure have been told by the school that their child is accused of bullying, or they've gotten into arguments with so many students I'm sure someone had a conference with them to make them think, "hmm my child may have a problem, or why is my child so angry and always in trouble". I would hope they would ask and receive some help for their child. I'm not talking about her parents because as parents it is difficult to determine when your child is in danger and when they are being dramatic, but I feel if those who are trained in child development who saw her everyday and had to have heard whispers in the halls about what she was going through had reached out and said, "mom your child is in a dark place", I can only believe her mother would've reacted.
Our normally energetic ride to school is filled with conversation, arguing or a sing-a-long. This particular moment, anger. From me, this mother has to bury her baby because.....???
My Baby A's anger, at herself (I should have done more, but what? I told the adults around us.) and my Baby B's anger, at the situation and the affect it is having on her twin. I'm in momma bear mode and she is in protective twin mode. I get to work and have a discussion with two different sets of students about bullying, this needs to be an ongoing event. I can't help but feel hurt for the child, her mother and those close to her, we all have been in a dark place. I can't help but wonder, how close to this act have any of my three children been and I missed it?
My heart going out to this young lady but is also a reminder of how we as parents need to check the emotional pulse of our children. We also need a tighter network at school so if something is going on with our children someone at the school has a close enough relationship with them to say, "hey mom I heard some talk in the halls today about your child .......Not sure if it's trus or false but here is the information.
my prayers go out to this family as I wrap my already overprotective arms around my own babies and encourage them to talk to school personnel, a counselor whomever they need to. That "what happens in my house stays in my house" shit is dead right along with "black kids don't........."
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